I have nothing left to do here

I have nothing left to do here. Emotions and twists of fate in one act. A performance by  Kislőd literary stage on the 80th anniversary of the deportation of the Swabians from Hungary.

Author's foreword:

This is a densely woven play, part of a family saga (Schvabian Gospel) that I have been writing and shaping for decades. As in every German-Hungarian family, ours, too, carries its wounds. There are things my ancestors either never spoke about, or spoke about only barely at all. One of these was the deportation.

My grandparents experienced it as young adults, but by the time I, as a teenager, began trying to understand the dynamics within our family, they had largely fallen silent about it. Yet this silence spoke of pain. They were silent because the pain was like a shrapnel fragment lodged in the body—impossible to remove, sealed over. They had to learn how to move in ways that would not hurt, or would hurt as little as possible, so they could go on living. And yet it was precisely this that shaped their lives all the more.

We, the grandchildren, inherited the great silences. Still, from time to time something would come to light. For example, why my grandfather never greeted a certain person in the village, or why, when we walked toward the cemetery, we would always cross to the worse sidewalk in front of the same house. They only spoke because I asked questions even as a kid, and that is how I learned that the house had been taken from our family during the Deportation.

I have often been asked to write a play drawn from my novels that, in a small space and with only a few characters, could make visible the tension caused by the deportation. I still remember the moment when it flashed into my mind how this story could be told. I placed three people in a kitchen—people who themselves do not know how much tension lies beneath the surface between them.

Please prepare yourselves for an emotional roller coaster. Some of you may laugh; some of you may cry. The subtitle of the play is no accident: Emotions, Variations of Fate in One Act.’The text can be interpreted as a sequence of interconnected scenes, but it may also be understood as variations of the same situation—that is, all that might happen when a stranger knocks on your door.

Make yourselves comfortable; we are about to begin!

(Róbert Balogh)

Illustration: German family from Márkó

/From the family collection of Katalin Léber Lakner) Preface: 

“Dear Reader! This is a dense piece of writing, part of a family saga (Schwabian Gospel) that I have been writing and shaping for decades. Like every German family in Hungary, ours also has its wounds. Things that my ancestors never or hardly ever talked about. One such thing was expulsion. My grandparents experienced this as young adults, but by the time I began to understand the relationships within the family as a teenager, they had already stopped talking about it. But this silence was about pain; they kept quiet because this pain was like an inoperable, hardened splinter in the body: they had to learn to move in such a way that it didn't hurt, or hurt as little as possible, so that they could live, but this had an even greater impact on their lives. We, their grandchildren, were given great silence. From time to time, something came to light, such as the fact that my grandfather never greeted anyone in the village, or when we walked to the cemetery, why we always crossed to the other side of the street in front of the same house, so I found out that the house had been taken away from the family during the deportation. They have asked me several times to write a piece from my novels that can be performed in a small space, with a few characters, and conveys the tension caused by the deportation. I still remember the feeling when it dawned on me how this story could be told. I gathered three people in a kitchen who themselves were unaware of the tension between them. Please be prepared to embark on an emotional roller coaster ride! Some may laugh, some may cry. It is no coincidence that the subtitle of the play is "Emotions, Variations of Fate in One Act." the text can be interpreted as a series of scenes that build on each other, but it can also be understood as variations on the same situation, i.e., what can happen when a stranger knocks on their door. Make yourselves comfortable, we're about to begin! (Róbert Balogh) Illustration: A German family from Márkó (From the family collection of Katalin Léber Lakner)

Cast:
Guest: Gábor Domján
Old Woman: Mária Kisné Lovasi
Husband: Lajos Simon

Narrator: Livia Kaszás Lovasi.

The guest of the event is Róbert Balogh, the author of the play.